Why Do You Hate Her? She Is You!

I was on instagram one day when Toke Makinwa posted something like “queens are women who help each other grow”. Annie Idibia also put up a post like that once and I thought to myself, why don’t we ladies do this to ourselves? Why do we bring each other down? Why don’t we help each other grow?

I have unconsciously done this to others a lot of times in the past which brought me to think deeply as to why? Why I would see a nice looking young lady and by merely looking at her gauge her taste and, in fact, her whole life. It was then I realized that this is something that has been passed on from generation to generation. A woman would, for example, walk into a banking hall looking all gorgeous, all eyes would be on her and another woman in there would definitely go: “is she married?” If not “she must have an aristo, how can she afford to look this good?” or “her Gucci bag must be fake”, “her red bottoms are fake, they sell fake in Balogun”. Why cant we women just appreciate good things when we see them?

By helping each other grow, we unconsciously also grow. In the last few years I have learnt to compliment people, not only females, when I see them. because I have learnt that that little compliment could just brighten up that person’s day. it could just be that little inspiration or push the person needed to go through the day. You see someone looking nice, why don’t you say “ you look really nice today”. It wont take anything out of you.

We always forget that we too are humans. we can not create another human being, so why bring one down? You are also a human being just as she is. She has everything you have; head, eyes, nose, mouth… (you get my drift), so why think you’re better than she is? Even if you’re light-skinned, white, Caucasian, Asian, Hispanic, black-American, etc. Whatever it is you are, wherever it is you are from, whatever it is you have, whatever it is you have been through, we are all made in the likeness of God, equal in His sight, so don’t keep yourself busy with bringing another human being down, why don’t you help boost that person and in addition, yourself? Moreover, you wouldn’t like it, if the same was done to you.

I have always felt that women who do this, have some complex issue they are dealing with and take it out on others. I remember about a year back, I was out with friends when I overheard someone telling another that the dress I had on, looked just like hers and guess what she said? “Nah, it cant be, plus I definitely look better in it that she does or ever will”. At first I was confused, then I was angry. Why would she say such a thing? when she could just have easily said, “yeah, it looks just like it” or “ Oh, yeah, she looks good in it” or something that even God would not have given her a suspicious eye for. My anger soon diminished because I realized that, I was letting her bring me down, steal my happiness unknowingly and leave me sad. I had to just let it go because I hold the key to my happiness and if I tell myself, I look good and I know I look good, I immediately feel good.

So the next time you feel the urge to bring another individual down, look inwards and determine what exactly is making you do that. What exactly could be pushing you to do so and what emotions it is that you’re depleting by doing so. And please work on them. The Bible itself says “Love your neighbor as yourself”. Plus you cannot grow by bringing someone down. I cooked up this saying once, that “the nail thrown to the balloon to bring it down, will definitely come down with it”! LOL!

It’s funny, but it is indeed true.

I urge you guys today(not just to the ladies, but everyone out there) to help others up in your journey through life and the good Lord will indeed bless you. It pays. Trust me.